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Not About Him(.com)
a daily zeitgeist
notabouthim
notabouthim
your father smelt of elderberries
for you youngsters who think dissing started with Rappers like Eminem and Insane Clown Posse ("Slim Anus? You damn right, Slim Anus. I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots.")

if nothing else, the rap tradition of duelling rhymes goes back to the earliest days of African-American culture, with a song published in 1830 "Round the Corn, Sally", in which the enslaved female singer disses every member of a picnic party (and I spat in your sandwiches)

The Inuits used to do a similar thing - one track, recorded in 1931, had this to say: " For your daughter-in-law Teriarnaq — yonder. You conceived immoral desires. And yearned for her." (take that! They also abused the size of each others' buttocks)

let's not get carried away though, in 1782 Mozart composed a canon for six voices in B-flat major "Leck mich im Arsch", which yes, means "kiss my ass" (no word on whether it was a love song)

in 991 AD the English (Anglo-Saxons, at the time) were "flyting" the invading Vikings with such taunts as "They intend to give all of you spears as tribute, deadly points and tried swords, payment in war-gear which will be of no benefit to you in battle" (rough translation "you're all useless idiots" - and so much more poetic than a simple "fuck you") - more on the Battle of Maldon poem here

dissing was also a Norwegian tradition, since at least Viking times. This was known as nidvise (although good luck reading the results of that Google search)

an excellent Old Norse example was in "Helgakviða Hundingsbana fyrri", where we get "nine wolves you and I begot on the island of Sága; I alone was their father"

of course, the Romans were quicker to the mark, Catullus (ca. 84-54BC) had the joy of reciting "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo", which translates to *cough* "I'll bugger you and make you suck it" (perhaps the earliest recordest instance of the threat of an atm)

but even before then, Archilochus (ca 680-645BC), considered the creator of iambic poetry, was slandering a girl named Neobule (who spurned him) and describing, in graphic detail, how he seduces her sister in revenge.. apparently these poems were so extreme that the entire family are said to have hanged themselves in disgrace

and ok, just for tatjna, water beds make for happy cows

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tatjna From: tatjna Date: January 29th, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC) (link)
It's common practice to play Muzak for cows, but they do prefer classical muzak.

And, I'm now waiting with bated breath for Eminem to come up with a rhyme for 'dasypygal', or 'lop-sided butt'..
notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 02:47 pm (UTC) (link)
aha! (I thought to myself) time to use something I posted at the end of 2004.. the online rhyming dictionary!

but alas, alack, it couldn't find a rhyme for dasypygal (doesn't that mean hairy buttocked, not lop sided?). However, how about this:

And at times my rhymes may be dasypygal
But in truth thats just like my idol
Guys - we are the only ones who freestyled
The others sat, and away the time they whiled

which no, wasn't me.. thank Google. Also, thank Google for this, an abecedarian insult:

"Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning zoophyte." Translation: "Sir, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunch-backed, thick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellent, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life."

woot! (etc)
tatjna From: tatjna Date: January 29th, 2006 02:52 pm (UTC) (link)
Yes. Hairy buttocked and lop-sided buttocked are two different things. But, you know, Em's a smart guy. He should be able to come up with more than one insult to someone's nethers.

Rhymes with ass wigs? Scary.

Also, it occurs to me that dissing is much like snark - the things being snarked never change, just the language and metre it's done in.
notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 02:57 pm (UTC) (link)
I just wish I'd done enough latin at school to be able to remember latin insults. SO excellent..
tatjna From: tatjna Date: January 29th, 2006 08:02 pm (UTC) (link)
"Volte para a puta que pareu"

Is the only insult I can do well in another language. Donne knows what it means.
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notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC) (link)
I must say I'll be extremely impressed if you're able to..
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notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 03:16 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

ooohh, that sly devil.. it'd work on me.. I mean, what is that, 2200 kisses? that's a whole lotta roman loving.. how could one possibly resist?

on the subject of fingerpainting, I do have to wonder if there are Egyptian hieroglyphic equivalents of rap slam contests.. :)
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notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 06:15 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

no no, you're just being too specific - also, remember, a lot of people might just say "ass" or even "arse".. so how about (10 times more responses) or, to see how creative people can get, even more open ended (6 times more again) or, or! even better - how about wildcards ? 90k hits, now we're starting to cook.. see? much better! no googlesplats around here...
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notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 06:37 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

hey! I wasn't searching google for ass.. don't project your hobbies onto me!
pagurus From: pagurus Date: January 29th, 2006 06:20 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

googlapathy
notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 06:25 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

ok, that's def the best one so far.. :)
pagurus From: pagurus Date: January 29th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

googlassitude, googlethargy...
tatjna From: tatjna Date: January 29th, 2006 06:44 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

googlespitthedummy

I am a bitch
notabouthim From: notabouthim Date: January 29th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: A picture may paint a thousand words

peh, and YOU claim to know all SORTS of things..

THIS is a bitch..

sheesh!
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