crank blogging is illegal
10 reasons why you should never accept a diamond ring (hint: it's all about conflict)
and if you're super annoying, your ex will sell all your stuff on ebay (take that, Bam Margera)
definitely don't piss off the myspace kiddies (murdoch, I'm talking to you)
and as King Missile told us, Jesus was way cool (oh, and He was a dope fiend)